Everything will be ok in the end, if it's not ok it's not the end.

This is for Lizz, since she yelled at me for my very vague and confuzzling last post.

I did a very highschoolish rant a couple of posts ago. I'm hoping this won't turn out to be a repeat of that. If it does I'm extremely sorry my dear hypothetical readers.

I like this guy. If you couldn't guess by the picture. No I'm not even close to thinking the particular L-word in there though. I like him a lot but things are still to uncertain for me to be ready for that word any time soon.

I can't talk to this guy about how I feel for him, which also means that I can't as him how he feels for me. Any time I have managed to come even close I wind up babbling rather incoherently for about half an hour and sound like a complete idiot.

Well today he was apparently having a "shitty" day. When I asked him what was wrong he wouldn't tell me. This behavior is becoming a rather unwanted trend with him. I can completely understand if he doesn't want to talk about it at the time. All I would ask, if I could dredge up the guts to talk to him, would be that he find a slightly nicer way to phrase it then " a lot never mind" or "stuff". Now if he follows with the usual trend I will find out what was wrong the next time I see him. While that does ease the blow slightly it doesn't change the fact that his casual brush off does hurt.

It drives in my desire to just sit him down and tell him that I would like it if he would stop this "game". I have no idea if his intentions are to play with my heart or if I am just missing something. If he wants to be just friends I have no problems with that, however if he would like to be more I just wish he would act like this is more.

Well Lizz now you know why I went off on a rant. My anger was not completely directed at him. There was a lot of tension at home today. I think it may be because my father leaves for Pennsylvania again tomorrow. What ever the reason my parents and I spent the vast majority of the day in opposite corners of the house so there would be no blow ups. That added considerably to my aggitation today.

I, my dear hypothetical reader, am off to rest my back before subjecting it to more torture tomorrow.

Until next time

Jes